His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
