another moral hangover. fuck.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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