The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
