It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
