OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
