There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
