I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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