note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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