I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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