I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
