i barfeds in our rink
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
