Nicole vs. Life
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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