he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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