fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
