There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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