You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my being single is dangerous.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
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She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
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I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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