about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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