sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
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Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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