We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
