wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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