ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
