I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
