I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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