mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I woke up under a house in Key West
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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