I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
