I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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