wat bout pragnant strippers??
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
