i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There r osticjed everywhere
Be still, my beating vagina.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
