Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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