Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
