I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
