help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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