hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
