there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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