Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think your dad took our porno
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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