you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
