I showed him my bush... on skype.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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