blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just blew my weed a kiss
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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