Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
