How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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