Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
