Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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