so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
someone threw a dead crab at me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
