I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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