saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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