I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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