Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We got so high we made milksteak
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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