We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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