I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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