bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
