They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
