beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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