I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
