OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
