Porn is love you can see.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
