I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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