he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
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She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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