Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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