like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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