i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
