when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
