I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
