She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You pole danced in your parka.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
