I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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